The internal dialog we have with ourselves can be brutal, especially when dealing with mental illness. Often, the people we have around us don’t help that feeling either. We feel like we should be “better.” That maybe just getting out of bed is as easy as they make it sound. That we really are just weak, and the solution to our illness is strength. But we know in our heads this isn’t true, and the reality is we would never judge someone else as harshly as we judge ourselves. So I have created a comprehensive list as to when it’s ok to give yourself a freaking break.
When you’re trying to clear your head but you can’t
When you had plans but can’t get out of bed to make them
When you can’t stop crying
When promised you would never harm yourself again and you did
When you consider suicide
When you want to stop remembering over and over but the thoughts always pop back up
When you feel like you’re too old to be afraid of the dark
When the progress you’ve made doesn’t feel like enough
When doing the things you normally love doing feels like a chore
When you confide in someone and they judge you
When your family and friends don’t understand
When you can’t sleep because of the thoughts rolling around in your head
When you couldn’t prevent a panic attack
When a large crowd is too much to handle
When you need to be alone
When the strategies your therapist gave you aren’t helping
When you feel broken because you can’t seem to fix yourself
When you can’t focus
When you can’t remember how much time has passed or how long you’ve been disassociating
When it feels like the only thing you have the mental capacity for is watching TV
It’s *OK*. The healing process is never linear. There are good days, and there are bad days, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t strong and it doesn’t mean you’re not making progress. So give yourself a break. Your next success with come soon enough.
